the STAB! show

In this genre twisting episode of the STAB! show, scary boy host Jesse Jones welcomes a den of bears in Willie Travis, Jorge Hernandez, & Jack Marie to share their three HELLs, pick-up lines to and from a rusty meat hook, an old leather glove with knives on it, & blood, recipes for things, including a creepy doll or stuffed animal that MIGHT be telling people to do murder, but might also just be weird and old and creepy, a flawless exorcism, & a horny summer camp where absolutely nothing terrible could possibly go wrong, wedding vows to the Mayor of a town overrun by bus riding, blood thirsty bears, who refuses to shut down the bus lines, a demon possessed car tire, & a clown; just a regular ass clown, and tourism guides for Dreams-ville, The Ch-ch-ch Ha-ha-ha Estates, & The Right Slaughterton Manor Upon Grueseometon.

In this leafy episode of the STAB! show, healthful adventurer and host Jesse Jones welcomes a cruciferous panel of Micaela Pettigrew, Michelle Petro, & Lacey Carroll to share their three takes on DML, nine 2026 Winter Olympic haiku, closing arguments in defense of drunken late night online impulse purchases, rain on your wedding day, and a free ride, when you’ve already paid, & that guy with the acoustic guitar at the party, the toyification of making plans as an adult, your first job, & getting health conscious, and descriptions of podcasts including a podcast hosted by Micaela’s high school self, a podcast titled “Nut Up, Buttercup!”, & a true crime style podcast hosted by all the attendees of a “Just Divorced” party solving the case of the failed relationship.

In this damp, dank episode of the STAB! show, moist host Jesse Jones welcomes a whiffy panel of Sethu Chidambaram, Jeff Brown, & Joe-Joe Louis, to share their three GHINs, nine items on the break room bulletin board of Self Determination, celebrations of Yerba Buena, Olympic curling, the Rubik’s Cube, Dick Cheney, bell chimes, & The Lone Ranger, descriptions of new drugs, including Steamed Box Springs, Plaid Kenneths, & Blotchy Herringbone, and descriptions of fights between a taco bowl filled with ingredients grown in a garden on Mount Olympus vs. a gumbo consisting of items bought from a farmer's market in Mordor, a men's rights activist powered by the rage of seeing gender swapped super heroes and prominent, high ranking women in sci-fi shows vs. a thousand cranky toddlers jacked up on birthday cake and armed with blow guns loaded with jellyfish toxin darts, & a giant crab with all of the knowledge of the Library of Alexandria, and a fleet of 2027 Tesla Awesome Boats vs. an AI datacenter brought to life by the power of a billion horny chat bot prompts, with psionic control of the Kraken.

In this achingly poor episode of the STAB! show, destitute host Jesse Jones welcomes a grumbly tummy panel of Adam Cranfill, Gaby Gilmore, & Joe Matthews to share their three takes on NCS, new STAB!tionary entries from random letters EFILOFT, POEEUTR, KYUBUKA, craigslist postings for six dozen bankers boxes full of punch cards that you think might be a 1960s AI program, or something, a collection of self published spy novels, & a magic bullet hot glued to an air fryer duct taped to an Instant Pot, dating profiles for someone who recently quit doing CrossFit, a pod of elephant seals, & a stack of pallets behind a grocery store, and synopsis of made-up movies Fascination Alley, Amazing Saturday, & The Sensuality of New Jersey.

In this resting scowl of an episode of the STAB! show, REAL annoyed host Jesse Jones welcomes a deep sigh of a panel of Dayna Bryant, Brett Stults, & Kim Martel to share their three HCFCs, pick-up lines to or from a manipulative groundhog, a pretty good waffle breakfast, & the couch in your grandparents’ family room that no one was ever allowed to go in, descriptions of breakfast cereals branded around quiet confidence, made for the inhabitants of a magical forest of anthropomorphic animals, & branded around being the only competent person at your work, reviews of things including a Yelp review of an elf cookie tree under new management, sobriety purchased on Temu, & the YouTube comments for Earth, and descriptions of new businesses including designing mud run obstacle courses for neat freaks and germaphobes, a chain of co-working makerspace hacker lab establishments that cater specifically to people who pick up new hobbies in the New Year and immediately drop them, & selling parchment and quills to Gen Alpha.

In this aggressively light hearted episode of the STAB! show, mirth bomber and host Jesse Jones welcomes a panel of anarcho-jokesters Bernie Baktashian, & Daniel Kessenich to share their two takes on HRDC, six topical haiku about the first week and a half of 2026, campaign speeches for a sandwich bag full of googly eyes running for a position in an anarchist’s messenger bag, & a t-shirt quilt running for the position of throw blanket in a new couple’s living room, explanations of things including explaining phat beats to a chubby turnip, & snorkeling to a house cat, and descriptions of podcasts including a podcast hosted by the contents of a medicine cabinet, & a podcast titled “Wishful Stinkin’”.

In this tastefully attired episode of the STAB! show, fabric tube and host Jesse Jones welcomes an immodest panel of Kameron Schmid, Jeff Brown, & Jaclyn Weiand to share their three BRDFs, pick-up lines to and from a motivational poster, an independent coffee shop, & a vanity license plate, craigslist postings for a flat of mason jars filled with various wishes, services as a personal customized entourage, & a fine hand crafted wicker hamper full of gently used, locally sourced items that were absolutely not used to murder any ex husband whatsoever thank you very much, angry poems about resolutions, revolutions, & substitutions, and pitches for new businesses including, selling the concept of planned obsolescence to mountain ranges, selling slip ‘n slides to childless adults, & a shop that sells cute little hand crafted outfits and accessories for less traditional pets.

In this festivly traditional episode of the STAB! show, it’s our 2025 STAB! Family Year End Blowout ExSTAB!raganza! And this year, host and jolly gent Jesse Jones welcomes friends, performers and producers of STAB! things Alex Shewmaker, Bernie Baktashian, Cierra Ramirez, Connor Martin, Cory Barringer, Daniel Kessenich, Emma Haney, Emma Santora, Frankie Lord, Gigi McGill, Jack Marie, Jaclyn Weiand, Jeff Brown, Jenna Swartz, Jess Roberts, Jessilee Windhaus, Joe-Joe Louis, Kim Martel, Lacey Carroll, Michelle Petro, Tyler Kinney, Willie Travis to share their four takes on REM, pick-up lines to and from someone impatiently waiting for their drugs to kick in, a storage unit full of stolen bikes & a rusty bucket full of random meat, recipes for someone who high fives co-workers in their cubicles first thing in the morning, that person you can always count on, someone obsessed with shows like the Bachelor and Bachelorette, & a core memory, dating profiles for a cyborg sent from the dystopian future who’s already accomplished their mission and is now just living in the present, a basket of very aggressive puppies, an artist loft, & a fishing tackle box, descriptions of new drugs including Fontanyl, Spicy Dans, Hamburgler Drops, & Jean Jackets, and tourism guides for Scram-sburgh, Snooty-sylvania, & Dork-lahoma.

In this ever so slightly off episode of the STAB! show, twisted host Jesse Jones welcomes a chilly panel of Dylan Fox, Mikhail Cherynavsky, & Jeff Brown to share their three PRIMEs, pick-up lines to and from the guy at the Christmas party that makes sure to point out the mistletoe, one of Santa’s back-up reindeer, & a plate of sugar cookies, craigslist postings for spots in a DIY class for making emergency last minute gas station gifts more festive and seem more intentional, a ladle full of the simmer pot contents that have been constantly warming on a family stove top for generations, & a line of Labubu knockoffs made in Jeff’s garage, reviews of things including an Angie review of Grandma’s new boyfriend, a Game Informer review of Hanukkah, & a performance review of Santa, and pitches for small businesses including an aviary catering to very specific holiday gifts, a full time witch who during the holiday season works part time as a gingerbread house real estate agent, & renting out a barn as an Air B&B to anyone who gets turned away from any of the local Inns for any particular reason.

In this cold, lonely, overwhelming episode of the STAB! show, gruel covered host Jesse Jones welcomes a whooping cough riddled, parentless panel of Emma Haney, Kyle Buis & Marco Cabodi to share their three takes on CHIM, nine haiku about the Christmas season, celebrations of the Milestone Mo-Tel, Bob Barker, Saturday Night Fever, Bush v Gore, the HMS Duchess, & National Ding-A-Ling Day, descriptions of new drugs: Ugly Sweaters, Cranbarium, & Tinselux 9, and the results of fights between a single mother of five in 2012 who camped outside of a Target store for Black Friday deals Vs. a group of people getting increasingly more defiant about leaving if they’re not given some figgy pudding, right now, a sentient leg lamp, powered by the angst of an elf who only ever wanted to be a dentist vs. a crotchety, miserly old skinflint with a bucket full of a former magical snowman, and all of the birds from the 12 Days of Christmas led by a Grinch who’s heart grew FOUR sizes vs. all of the people from the 12 Days of Christmas led by a beagle on a flying dog house.