the STAB! show

In this cold, lonely, overwhelming episode of the STAB! show, gruel covered host Jesse Jones welcomes a whooping cough riddled, parentless panel of Emma Haney, Kyle Buis & Marco Cabodi to share their three takes on CHIM, nine haiku about the Christmas season, celebrations of the Milestone Mo-Tel, Bob Barker, Saturday Night Fever, Bush v Gore, the HMS Duchess, & National Ding-A-Ling Day, descriptions of new drugs: Ugly Sweaters, Cranbarium, & Tinselux 9, and the results of fights between a single mother of five in 2012 who camped outside of a Target store for Black Friday deals Vs. a group of people getting increasingly more defiant about leaving if they’re not given some figgy pudding, right now, a sentient leg lamp, powered by the angst of an elf who only ever wanted to be a dentist vs. a crotchety, miserly old skinflint with a bucket full of a former magical snowman, and all of the birds from the 12 Days of Christmas led by a Grinch who’s heart grew FOUR sizes vs. all of the people from the 12 Days of Christmas led by a beagle on a flying dog house.

In this fruitfully multiplying episode of the STAB! show, sticky host Jesse Jones welcomes a panel of low hanging Dougs, Jack Marie, Brett Stults & Christy Farley to share their three MLYs, new Greeting Cards for “our condolences on this, the anniversary of you absolutely losing your shit in public for something that you later realized was 100% your fault”, Happy “Apparently successful one night stand” morning, & Congratulations on putting back on that winter 20 pounds, closing arguments in defense of a UTI, Dude bros, & Seasonal Affective Disorder, angry poems about Jingles, Cringles, & Office Christmas Party Mingles, and rundowns of new Fall TV shows, Red Riding Hood and Santa Clause go to Jupiter, Hawk Teens, & My Mom Married Prince Charming.

In this unfortunately accurate episode of the STAB! show, air clump and host Jesse Jones welcomes a panel of yuck drizzle in Dayna Bryant, David Shapiro & Frankie Lord to share their three takes on PTL, new STAB!tionary entries from random letters AZTNIPE, JEJWBEV, & VSDUKIM, descriptions of restaurants themed around Black Friday, train travel, and a restaurant named “Oops, All Sky Stuffs”, dating profiles for a Target parking lot, a 75 inch Roku smart TV, & a seasonal worker, and rundowns of podcasts including a podcast from the world of a Hallmark movie, a podcast hosted by Thanksgiving leftovers, & a podcast titled “Can We Assemble It”.

In this gluttonous holiday themed episode of the STAB! show, shameful host Jesse Jones welcomes a guilty panel of Jenna Swartz, Cierra Ramirez, & Daniel Kessenich to share their three takes on NFL, nine items on the bathroom walls of Black Friday, three recipes for each panelists’ family’s traditional Thanksgiving Day, the toyifications of a food coma, colonialism, & leftovers, and synopsis of made-up movies, “The Womanizing Werewolf's Wedding”, “The Resurrection of Cinderella", & “Sinful Odyssey to Uranus”.

In this epic struggle of an episode of the STAB! show, burly, hair host Jesse Jones welcomes a strong, majestic panel of Christiana, Micaela Pettigrew, & Nick Pettigrew to share their three SHSAAs, bootlegs of Planes, Trains & Automobiles, Alice’s Restaurant, & Dutch, craigslist postings for a bib collection from various sit down eateries, a line of designer fragrances made in your garage, & franchising opportunities for a timeshare exit company, dating profiles for a medium sized earthquake, one of those nice wooden salad bowls, & the stack of board games that’s made it through every move with you, and descriptions of new business, including designing custom workout plans for house plants, high end couture elementary school style Thanksgiving decorations, & a fine dining restaurant in a town populated entirely by picky eaters.

In this consistent, reliable episode of the STAB! show, six quarter host Jesse Jones welcomes an all beef panel of Grant Potter, Alex Shewmaker, & Chris Emery to share their three takes on PIMA, new greeting cards including a “Happy Surprise Holiday Season Layoff” card, “So You’ve Got $40 In Your Savings Account” card, & "Congratulations on Shitting Your Pants For The First Time as an Adult” card, celebrations of the Public Broadcasting Act of 1967, air freight, internet radio, Al Bundy, Marie Curie, & National Bittersweet Chocolate With Almonds, angry poems about whispers, crispers, & blisters, and rundowns of new Fall TV shows, “Ghost Listener”, “Mister Extreme and the Blast Boys”, & “Evil Hospital”.

In this comfortable, accepted episode of the STAB! show, warm counterbalance and host Jesse Jones welcomes an acceptable, sturdy panel of Connor Martin, Rebecca Beskeen, & Michelle Petro to share their three GHBs, nine (more or less) items on the break room bulletin board of pragmatism, recipes for things including who the stinky kid in elementary school grew up to be, someone who just always seems to make an awkward situation even more awkward, & someone that you barely know but that always comments on your social media posts, descriptions of new drugs: Beige Assassins, Prominent Quentins, & Manic Eliza Dushkus, and the synopsis of made-up movies “Blood Thirsty Mountain”, “Bravery & Bedroom Eyes”, & “The Creature From The Future”.

In this fragrant episode of the STAB! show, unpleasant surprise of a host Jesse Jones welcomes a leafy, whiffy panel of Marco Cabodi, Sam Hochhalter, & Frankie Lord to share their three takes on PSAT, pick-up lines to and from a nice hearty Fall soup, actionable intelligence, & craisins, descriptions of new cereals themed around Steampunk, a liquor store, & a feeling of accomplishment, reviews of things including a TripAdviser review of the first colony on Mars, a Yelp review of a fine dining restaurant run entirely by cartoon roaches, & an Amazon review of vestigial organs, and descriptions of new businesses including a Dippin’ Dots cart in the year 2105, a fish taco stand in Atlantis, & a job placement service for pampered socialites.

In this lung full of hospitality that IS this episode of the STAB! show, sweet tea stinkin’ host Jesse Jones welcomes a debutant panel of Sam Hochhalter, Heather Rogue, & Jack Marie to share their three PUUs, nine haiku about the state of the world, campaign speeches from a box of dental floss campaigning for a spot in the Halloween Candy bowl, a bottle of Tabasco sauce in the work fridge that was there before most everyone was hired running for President of the Office, & a graphing calculator lobbying for a position in the sex toy drawer, the dating profiles for the Northern Lights, an AI Chatbot, & a needlepoint hound on a pillowcase made from an upcycled tshirt, and recaps and rundowns of podcasts including a podcast for yard sale enthusiasts, a podcast hosted by spiders, & a podcast titled “You Guessed Wrong, Bitch!”.

In this super close, tight knit episode of the STAB! show, closer than a brother host Jesse Jones welcomes a strictly platonic panel of Cierra Ramirez, Tessa Brown, & Dayna Bryant to share their three takes on RIF, bootlegs of Jeepers Creepers, Zombieland, & Omen, closing arguments in defense of being bullied in middle school, choosing a really dumb hill to die on, & insomnia, angry poems about rainy days, regretful lays, & disparity in pays, and tourism guides for That-Bish-ville, The Quirky Islands, & Optimism Falls.