the STAB! show

In this weird-o episode of the STAB! show, small, clucky host Jesse Jones welcomes a blue, furry, panel of Dayna Bryant, Bernie Baktashain, & Jack Marie to share their three takes on BF, pick-up lines to and from the polar ice caps, a tray of ribs, & baklava, recipes for things, including someone who just won’t take a hint, a pretty good trip to the river, & someone who says “irregardless”, wedding vows to unlovable things, including, the work copier, that smell, you just haven't been able to identify for months, & AI art, and synopsis of made-up movies, “The Orange Dinosaur”, “Lady Impossible”, & “Nancy Blast”.

In this familiar, fatty episode of the STAB! show, udderly capable host Jesse Jones welcomes a freshly churned panel of Emma Haney, Cierra Ramirez, & Joe-Joe Louis to share their three CCRIs, new Greeting Cards for “Happy Dissociation”, “Sorry You Had to Pull Out The Fat Clothes Again”, & “Get Fucked Soon”, craigslist postings for selling a Saturday morning fishing trip where you play the part of the purchaser’s Dad and tell them at least once during the outing that you’re proud of them, reselling your tickets to the “Electric Butter Party”, & offering seats on your cruise along the edge of the flat Earth, descriptions of new drugs, The Kraft, Wimp-Its, & Big Whoops, and descriptions of new businesses including a finishing school for sleep paralysis demons, a carbon neutral carnival, & a line of muscle tees for dorks.

In this strong, proud episode of the STAB! show, that one guy, host Jesse Jones, welcomes the best panel of Carissa Edwards, Lacey Carroll, & Christy Farley to share their three takes on DBS, new STAB!tionary entries from random letters VWAEKPE, MUSMFEU, & OMEYPTA, campaign speeches for a disused Library Card trying to keep your position in a transition from an old wallet to a new one, a graduation cap tassel hanging from the rear view mirror of a 2003 Toyota Corolla running for Mayor of the car’s interior, & a bar napkin covered in drunken scribblings running for Detective of What Happened Last Night, reviews of things including the YouTube comments for getting a promotion at work, a Trip Advisor review of “That one place” as left by your mom, & a Yelp review of your fridge and pantry, and rundowns of podcasts including a podcast from the world of Alice In Wonderland, a podcast hosted by a Hot Pocket, a Pop Tart and three ravioli, & a podcast titled “Yep, Yup, Yeppers!”.

In this bop of an episode of the STAB! show, catchy host Jesse Jones welcomes a panel of ear worms in Christiana, Emma Santora, & Eric Barger to share their three IFARs, pick-up lines to and from elitism, a dollop of sour cream, & a Peloton draped in dirty clothes, recipes for a pleasant Sunday afternoon, someone who always knows how to push your buttons, & a situation you're going to regret later, vows to waiting for the other shoe to drop, your own negative self talk, & someone who puts a “I bought this before I knew Elon was crazy” sticker on their Tesla, but knew full well what they were like but still put the sticker on there to try to convince people that they didn't, and synopsis of made-up movies, “The Mind Quester”, “The Emperor of Homes”, & “The Incredible Mystery of the Dreadful Scientist”.

In this flerpinshtauple episode of the STAB! show, derpingleem and host Jesse Jones welcomes a parginstorn panel of Nick Coleman, & Nick Pettigrew to share their two takes on BSOD, six Sacramento Summer haiku, closing arguments in defense of bad things happening to good people, & polyester, angry poems about Legumes, & Buffoons, and tourism guides for Loominyúr Upon Upper Low Blüncheschishishor, & The Independent Nation State of Fluff Cuddle Meadows.

In this non-afternoon episode of the STAB! show, dusky host Jesse Jones welcomes a panel of dinner time pals, Dayna Bryant, Leo Antolin, & Tyler Kinney to share their three CCRAs, new Greeting Cards for congratulations on finally folding that mountain of laundry, sorry your kids just discovered all of the fanfiction you wrote in your teens, & Happy “Marriage of Convenience” Anniversary, celebrations of things including Joan of Arc, Pearl Hart, the ice cream freezer, Evel Knievel, the Pennsylvania Evening Post, & car accidents, the toyification of Decoupling, self destructive behavior, & your one weekend a month at Dad's house, and erotic letters to the editors of Family Handiman Magazine, Breathe Mindfulness Journal, & Wine Spectator.

In this fleshy, round episode of the STAB! show, easily winded host Jesse Jones welcomes an aspirationally athletic panel of Grant Potter, Alex Shewmaker, & Chris Emery to share their three takes on HBD, pick-up lines to and from a nature trail, a pot of office break room coffee at 4:45pm, & a wax sculpture of Chris Emery, craigslist posts for an apprenticeship opportunity to train to be an absolute dirtbag, services as a “fantasy boyfriend” to present on social media, & a whole fuck pile of really cool shit, dating profiles for a taco salad, a guy in his 50s who can kinda do a cartwheel, & a background character in a sitcom, and rundowns and recaps of podcasts including one hosted by a trio of AI programs, programmed to create the “Sickest, most Bingeable Podcast Ever, Ever.”, titled “Mouth Feel”, & from a world that’s going to be destroyed by an asteroid in a little less than a year.

In this frighteningly portable episode of the STAB! Show, irrational phobia and host Jesse Jones welcomes a neatly packaged and scary panel of Jenna Swartz, Michelle Petro, & Jeff Brown to share their three NDHECNs, nine Google Searches from Canada, descriptions of restaurants themed around C-list Celebrities, Phobias, & a Two Goodyear Star Rated Restaurant, reviews of things including a Yelp review of some trunk tamales, an Amazon review of cautious optimism, & a Google Play review of an app called “Identity Stealer Simulator Plus”, and their three perfect endings to the show.

In this deeply repressed episode of the STAB! show, lingering regret and host Jesse Jones welcomes a wistful, melancholy panel of Dayna Bryant, Emma Haney & Molly Doan to share their three takes on EBITDA, nine items on the break room Bulletin Board of a novelty joke factory, new breakfast cereals themed around 21st Century Parenting, a hoarder, & a cereal called “Oops All Carpet Samples”, angry poems about Tough Guys, One Plys, & Waffle Fries, and who would win in fights between 100 Men Vs. One emotionally mature decision, 100 Fathers Vs. One Grill at a Summer Cook Out, & 100 Rednecks Vs. a Bald Eagle that smells like Kid Rock, in a Dale Earnhardt leather jacket and a Smokey and the Bandit cowboy hat, wearing a pair of Chrome truck nuts around its neck, and with an unregistered firearm under one wing and a six pack of Coors Light under the other.

In this gray, wiry episode of the STAB! show, Captain and host Jesse Jones welcomes a musky panel of Frankie Lord, Willie Travis & Kim Martel to share their three BURMAs, new Greeting Cards for “Sorry You Found Your First Gray Hair”, Happy “Confirmation That You Ain’t Shit” Day, & “Get Even Soon”, celebrations of Dr. Spock, International Harry Potter Day, GPS, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, the 20 cent coin, & Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, new toys themed on moving back to your old hometown, dividing up the deposit when everyone moves out, & fad dieting, and rundowns & recaps of new podcast hosted by a Swanson, Hungry Man dinner and a fist full of Taco Bell sauce packets, a podcast from the world of Animorphs, & a podcast titled “Cheese Me Off”.